am i okay?

I know this blog is supposed to be about better love, more laughter, honesty and happiness but today I need to get something off my chest.

What do you consider abuse?

I consider lies that make you feel crazy mental abuse.

I consider threats being uttered and name calling verbal abuse.

I consider someone bigger than me poking his finger into my shoulder, or grabbing me and making me feel like I need to back away from him physical abuse.

Am I wrong on any of these points?

I’ve been married for twenty years and together with this same man for 27. In the last 10 years he’s become all of these. The mental and verbal the worst to deal with because my brain doesn’t let go, it doesn’t forget but it seems to forgive. I’m an empath trying to separate from a narcissist. I read an article on Mind Body Green one day about breaking up with a narcissist and probably 10 out of the 12 points they listed I’ve had to deal with. The article hit home so hard that I couldn’t finish reading it the first time, I found it that upsetting.

Being an empath means I feel too much all the time. I absorb everything but eventually, get to a point where I can’t absorb anymore and shut down so I can recharge. I call it being “peopled out”. I’ve spent less and less time around friends in the last several years, just trying to deal with the guilt I was being made to feel for being depressed and unable to let go of the hurt that my husband had caused me, I couldn’t absorb anything or help anyone else. It literally took all the energy I had, to stay at a reasonable level for my kids. They ultimately are the most important things in my life. Everything I’ve done has been for them..including finally leaving this marriage.

They’ve watched me go through this for the last 5 years and are now becoming adults who see and know what is right and what is wrong. I had hoped that after everything my soon to be ex-husband put the kids and I through he would be understanding when I finally decided that I couldn’t do this anymore. I was wrong and he’s become an even uglier human being than we’d imagined.

In order to make himself feel better he told all of our mutual friends who he thought would listen and believe him that I was leaving him because I was having an affair. I didn’t ever tell any of them that he had had two affairs and for five years neither did he. He just expected that I was going to keep fake socializing.

I wasn’t having an affair. I am not a cheater or a liar. He is.

I finally made the decision to leave this relationship that wasn’t working for me anymore and hasn’t been working in the last 5 years. It’s been almost 10 months since I told him I wanted to separate but more than two since I’ve wanted to call it quits. He is not accepting it. He keeps thinking he can bully me into just staying and it’s not going to happen. Who would want that?

In 6 weeks I’m moving out of the house I raised my babies in for the last 18 years and taking our youngest son with me. Both of us are excited to start this new adventure together and start to heal. At times it makes me a little sad but then others I can’t wait to be free from the house that hasn’t got enough oxygen in it anymore. I hope that the distance I’m about to create between us will be respected.

I hope that at some point people will stop asking me if I’m okay and just know that I am because I look happy and act happy again. I appreciate that people care but I’m careful not to share too much and often feel uncomfortable when they ask. I’ve been burned too many times.

So this Sunday morning I sit here, in McDonalds as usual, writing and drinking a coffee. Hiding out, getting these thoughts out of my head, I wonder if I really am okay..and I don’t think I am..but 6 weeks from now… I’m promising myself that a new better life is going to start. I’m going to leave all of these Cloudyskies behind me, work on loving myself, spend some time in the sun and get a tan.

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first dates ❤️

There’s a little coffee shop in the Bay. They have bread and all kids of baked goods.

There’s a woman and she’s a little nervous but can’t do anything but smile.

There’s a man and he’s a little nervous too but can’t stop himself from wanting to hold her hand. Can’t stop himself from wanting to touch her and make sure that she’s really real..that she is really, finally there.

This is their start.

They get a coffee and sit at a small little table for two. She’s searching his face with her eyes. Looking for clues, trying to read what he’s feeling.

Nobody in the coffee shop knows that this is their first date. They look very comfortable together..talking easily..sipping coffee. They’ve known each other as friends but are trying to decide if they want to know each other as lovers. They are seeing each other with new eyes.

They talk. They drink coffee. They don’t notice what is going on around them, they are too focused on the moment between them. There are so many questions that need to be asked and answered. Their eyes rapidly search each other’s faces trying to read what the other might want to do next.

They are trying to slow down time, making the walk back to the car as gentle and as leisurely as they can. They hold hands..he notices that hers are cold as he closes his warm hand around her cold one. She leans into him as they walk, holding his arm with her other hand. They reach the car as the afternoon sun begins it’s descent.

They share a long deep kiss before getting in the car and just like that their first date is done. They are happy, and feeling at ease with a coffee date as the start of this new beginning for both of them. They didn’t need the coffee..they just needed to find each other.

❤️ airports 💔

Airports are a thing between B and I. We had been friends for a few years and he’d never greeted me in an Airport until this last year.

Our first airport meeting was the first ever since we had decided to try having a relationship. We were about to see each other in a different way than we had before. It was quite a topic of discussion between us before I went. B wanted to know how we were greeting each other. I told him that it was up to him and to do whatever he felt. I wanted him to feel completely open and honest in his greeting. My plane was a little earlier than expected so I was already in the airport when he came walking in.

He was trying to look calm, cool and collected but his embrace gave everything away. He’d decided on a kiss. An amazing down to my toes first kiss, followed by one of his amazing hugs. His hug was the same as always but it had a new nervous component to it too. I could feel the excited quiver in him as he held me tight..secretly..I was feeling the same.

Another thing we always do to reacquaint ourselves after being apart for so long is going for a coffee. We talk, we look at each other, hold hands, just reconnecting and still making sure that we are still two people who want to be in this relationship together. It’s always such a great start. There are no expectations as to what will transpire in the few days we get to spend together but we always have this starting point.

Our second meeting was one where both of us decided to meet half way. Seeing as I was going to be in the airport first, in the city where we would be meeting, I got to decide how this greeting was going to go. I met him by the luggage carousel with a sign that had hearts ♥️ and his name..acting like I didn’t know what he looked like anymore because it had been so long since we’d seen each other. He walked up to me with the biggest smile and a laugh. I opened my arms and once again…breathless. It was so good to see him.

Warning! Warning!

There isn’t always happiness in airports. Although we are always happy to come together in an airport we often forget that there will also be a goodbye in an airport as well.

When saying “Goodbye” we never know if we will be strong enough to make it through to our next meeting, because of the distance and everything I’m dealing with to end my marriage. We never know if either of us will decide to give up on riding the roller coaster in between our times together. I really wouldn’t have blamed B at all if he did. He didn’t need any of the shit we’ve encountered. Maybe that’s the extent of his love for me..he’s in it for the long haul..possibly? Sometimes B struggles with the loneliness he feels..I struggle with the loneliness I feel and have been for the last couple of days. I haven’t been able to find any comfort. Sleep is the only place I can go to escape, and even that is often restless. I don’t want to hang out with friends, I’m often quiet and thinking about how I should be planning the next few months ahead of me.

Saying “Goodbye” in an airport is so hard for me. I hate people witnessing my emotions. Saying “Goodbye” to B is the worst. I look into his face trying to read his feelings as well, touch his face, hug him, smell his soap, feel his sweater and hold his hand for the very last time until we meet again. I’m making a mental imprint of everything before we part. There are often tears thinking of the impending separation between us as the time nears. I try to keep it together because I know he’s upset too and it doesn’t help either of us when I feel this way. We both know what it’s like for us to be together but what we didn’t anticipate was what the being apart was going to feel like.

So right now, airports do bring us together but they also tear us apart. B keeps telling me it’s only “85 weeks” until we can be together for good…apparently that’s the “realist” in him. *insert eye roll* It’s really only 7 and we have a weekend planned to be together 3 weeks from now. It will have been almost two months by then since we’ve seen each other. I’m picking him up at the airport this time so I will get to chose how this greeting goes. I’m already thinking about how I will welcome him this time and am trying really hard to not think about the goodbye that will come a few days later. I keep telling myself some day we will get on the plane together and go somewhere but we’ll also get to come back to our home together.

and then a hug happened

This is my third attempt at writing this blog. I’ve had it in my head for a few days now and can’t seem to get it out successfully or in a way that I’m happy with. So here is goes…third times the charm? Possibly…

Several years ago I was in a really bad place mentally, emotionally and any other place I could be except…a good place. I was at the beginning of the end of a marriage that was continually being disrespected but yet I continued to look for a way to fix it and keep it together. I’m not sure if I thought he was capable of changing, or if I was, or if I was staying where my children needed me to be. My children have since grown up. Two of the three are now University age, and the third is a very mature 12 year old who is very aware of what is happening in his world.

At the same time as I was trying to process what was going on in my life, a friend of mine was also struggling in his marriage. We’d never talked about our relationships and we both assumed the other was committed to their marriage. Neither of us being cheaters, managed to maintain a friendship where we engaged, through text, periodically to reach out, say “Hi” once in awhile, and stay semi-connected. If I was going to be in the city where him and his wife lived I would text them both and request a dinner together or a drink or a coffee meeting. It was all very innocent and at arms length except for when we greeted each other with a hug. When we were all together, I saw that he loved his wife…and I loved her just as much as a friend, watching them together made me envy their marriage.

Three years ago B and I both had to evacuate from a city that was burning. It was a strange and scary few days. When I ran into him later that week, he looked exhausted and like he could use a little human contact so…I offered him a hug. As it turned out that sixty second hug, ended up being the best hug that I’ve ever had and more comfort, I think, for me than him. It awakened something in me that I had been missing. If I could have stayed in his arms with my head tucked into his neck and resting on his shoulder, from that point on, for the rest of my life…I probably would have. He made me feel safe in a way that I hadn’t in years. Shockingly enough, I barely knew him at that point but yet he was the one who made me feel safe. We talked about what had transpired for both of us over the course of the few days before and then right before we said “Good-bye” I told him I was going to hug him one more time. He opened his arms and accepted it. He didn’t know it but that hug gave me strength and carried me.

It was August of last year that I finally made the decision to leave my marriage but it took me until November to tell my husband that I really wanted to separate. I had asked him in October why were we still together? I wasn’t happy and he didn’t seem happy either but I guess being unhappy together was better than being alone?? I don’t know. In the middle of October I went to visit my son and daughter at their schools and made a point of connecting with B, saying…Lets have coffee or breakfast or have a drink? Him and his wife had separated earlier that year so in the spirit of our friendship I wanted to see that he was okay. B could text me that he was okay but until I could actually see him and gage his body language, I wouldn’t know if he was really okay. He attempted to dodge me but I wasn’t having it this time and made him commit to having dinner with the kids and I. I said I was cooking both my son and daughters favourite dinners and he agreed to come but I fully expected him to cancel or just not show up.

10pm the night before the dinner

B: Hey..I’m bringing Leanne with me for dinner tomorrow night, she wants to meet you and she’s coming with me.

10:30…30 minutes later

B: She’s coming with me but not with me, with me. If that’s okay.

10:50…20 mins later

I finally check my phone and begin to scratch my head. I responded with…

Absolutely! I’d love to meet her and have her join us for the evening. I’m really looking forward to it.

And then I started to wonder what his text was really trying to say. He was bringing her with him but she wasn’t with him…with him. It took me a little bit but then I texted him back to ask him if he was trying to tell me that she wasn’t his girlfriend. I told him that even if she was, I wasn’t going to judge but I would be happy for him if she was someone he wanted to spend time with and it made him happy.

Day of the dinner we exchanged several fun engaging texts while I got things ready for that evening. I really didn’t know what to expect. I wasn’t sure if Leanne was someone he wanted to spend time with or if she was just a friend. I also wasn’t sure how I felt. I had a pang of envy for this new woman he may have been potentially starting a new relationship with. I wasn’t free to start anything or give him any hope that there could be something between him and I. For all I knew, all he felt for me was friendship and I’d have to be okay with that. He was free…I was not.

Dinner with B and Leanne, turned out to be a really great evening. The food was edible, the company was lots of fun and the conversation was engaging. Leanne was the kind of woman that B might be attracted to, they seemed to have a really nice friendship. Everything was going well, and then B was suddenly done, had to leave and was getting his shoes on. I assumed it had to do with possibly the last time we’d had dinner together, he was still with his wife and he was hit with a bunch of feelings all at once. At the door, and seeing his obvious distress, I opened my arms to him and he welcomed my hug. I held him tight, kissed his cheek and told him I was glad they came. He returned the kiss on the cheek, held on tighter a second longer and then let go. Looked at me one last time, stuttered a little over the goodbyes as I closed the door and then…the evening was done.

The next couple of days went by quickly, I met B’s ex-wife for dinner and visited with her. I was still really hoping for a reconciliation for them, I felt they still belonged together and that they could work out whatever had happened but after talking with Joanne, I knew that my decision to end my marriage was a good one; I didn’t want to wake up 15 years from now, with even more regret and wonder why I stayed. I talked to her vaguely about what had gone on in my marriage, she sat in disbelief as she listened to what I had been through. I think I was trying to make her see that if I could make my marriage work after all the shit I’d been through, that whatever happened between her and B they could make their marriage work too. She said no. They were both moving on.

I left Joanne and attempted to get B to meet me for a coffee or a glass of wine as I was leaving in the morning, but he didn’t respond. He was back to shutting me out. I wanted to tell him I knew how he was feeling, I wanted to tell him to his face that he was an important person in my life, I wanted to tell him he was lovable, I suddenly wanted to tell him everything I’d been going through since our first hug. He needed to know that he held value in my life but he wasn’t in a space where he was able to accept what I was offering him and at that point I didn’t really know what I was offering or could offer him. Hope..for both of us..maybe?

Over the course of the next few weeks, I reached out to B a little more often. Checking in to make sure he was in good cheer. He never really told me how he was doing but I would update him on trivial things in my day to day life..like the early snow we were getting that fall, that I was out for a run and dying incase he cared..just anything that might pick up his day or make him smile. I finally decided that since he wouldn’t meet me, face to face, that I would send him an email telling him why his hugs were important to me. It took awhile for me to get the courage to ask for his personal email and send it..I didn’t know what his response would be. In depth, I attempted to tell him that I had struggled throughout the last few years but the turning point came when we’d shared our first hug and although it was supposed to be for his benefit it ended up being for mine. I think it was awhile before he responded with an “I don’t know what to say”. I told him I wasn’t looking for a response, I just wanted him to know I was going through a similar hurt and would be a friend if he wanted someone to listen. I cared.

Hugs are powerful when they happen, especially if they feel sincere. Since B’s first hug..powerful and strong..I’ve started hugging the same way…if I’m hugging someone who means something to me. B’s first hug was extremely memorable; I’ll never forget it. It’s now a hug that I don’t ever want to live without.

A hug should be comparable to that first handshake at a job interview..strong and memorable so you get the job.

one foot…in front of the other

Yesterday I struggled with a few things. I’ve been upset about how things are proceeding with the separation agreement I have with my soon-to-be-but-not-soon-enough ex-husband. We came up with an agreement. I got him the information he needed and now he’s let it die. He didn’t take it back to his lawyer to have it drawn up with the changes we made to the first draft so that I could then take it to mine, have it reviewed and then sign it or send it back with changes that my lawyer recommends. I’m frustrated, I’m angry, and feeling overwhelmed with this process. I assumed, that after everything he put me through, that this separation would be accepted and would go easier than it has but it hasn’t.

I promised Mr. December that I would be okay. That I would take care of myself and make sure I was bringing my best self to our relationship. I’m trying but it seems at every turn there’s something that tries to stop me. My soon to be ex-husband is determined that I will stay, that I will not leave him for someone in his 60’s because he feels, he is entitled to a relationship with me. I didn’t leave him because of another man, I left because he didn’t respect me or our relationship and still doesn’t. He feels he is owed something after giving up his girlfriend to stay with me. I owe him nothing. Absolutely…NOTHING.

BUT…this blog isn’t about my life with my ex, I’ve already done that blog, it’s about moving on from a place I’ve been stuck in for SO long. Now’s the time to get in a place where I can be my best self so that I can be true to myself and a new relationship. Mr. December deserves that; it’s a promise I want to keep for him because I don’t want us to fail.

Mr. December and I are separated by 1727km…if we were to drive, it would take about two days to reach each other. Flying is anywhere from 4-6 hrs. We are not in a position to easily reach each other’s side..ultimately that’s where I want to be..at his side..enveloped in a hug when these days are tough. I’m not leaving my marriage because of him, we were friends first for a few years. At the end of his marriage I was a friend to him, he needed to know someone was there for him, and he has remained a good friend to me through the ending of mine. We’ve supported each other. When I struggle, he struggles and visa versa. He can tell by the tone of my voice that I’m going through something, texting is a little easier to hide but ultimately he wants to be my person that I can talk to about anything so I try to talk but…sometimes I cannot find the words and then we struggle to communicate easily. I shut down, get quiet, try to process what is running through my head and Mr. December wants to listen to me talk it out. Sometimes that is just what I need. I want to keep the two relationships separate and not bring the old relationship into the new relationship but the shit from the old relationship keeps trying to spill over into the new relationship and make it dirty. I refuse to allow that to happen.

My heart swells with love for Mr. December and I wish that I was free to spend a lazy Sunday with him drinking coffee, going for a hike or grocery shopping for ingredients to make homemade pizzas for supper. Pizza that I will put pineapple on my half because I like pineapple on pizza but he does not. Apparently nobody is supposed to like pineapple on pizza.

I know our relationship will not always be all flowers and sunshine but I believe that we are getting through the hard stuff right now and it’s making us so much stronger as a couple. We’ve begun to create a bond like no other. Mr. December often asks me if other people have relationships like ours because he doesn’t know any couples like us and hasn’t experienced a relationship like this himself. I don’t know anyone like us either, but I think when people have had marriages end like we’ve had, they change you as a person and this time around we’ve set that relationship bar of acceptance really high. I’ve become a partner who wants brutal honesty because I’ve endured far to many lies. I’m also not going to let things go unsaid anymore and I often get in Mr. December’s face when something causes us to falter or stumble a little. He does the same, only he’s maybe a little more gentle than I am.

I really appreciate that he is gentle because nothing else in my life, right now, feels gentle. Everything has sharp edges, making things feel really cold and calculated, quite often very surreal. It makes me long for the warmth and strength that I get from being next to Mr December. I don’t think he really knows what his friendship and love gives me. He says he knows…but I don’t think he really knows.

We talked this morning about the struggles we had yesterday. I think we both came to the conclusion that we need to be patient with each other and this process of ending marriages. We need to continue focusing and just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other as we make our way towards this life we deserve to have with each other.

*title credits to Mr. December❤️

a little about May and December ❤️

I’ve headed into a territory that I really know nothing about and that territory would be…navigating a long distance relationship with an older man. His age doesn’t bother me at all but the distance is a challenge. We have a lot in common which is surprising, to both of us. I think the whole idea of this relationship and where it potentially might go, also scares the hell out of us because of our previous relationships but yet…we forge ahead continuing to enjoy the amazingly fun exchanges and connection between us.

If you don’t know what a May/December relationship is well…let me tell you. A May/December relationship can work two ways. It can be a significantly older woman in a relationship with a much younger man or it could be a significantly older man in a relationship with a much younger woman. There are unfair stereotypes that go with these relationships. The older woman is a cougar while the younger woman is either a gold digger or trophy wife. I’m going to take a guess that the men in these relationships just get to be “studs”? I’m not really sure what labels are given to the men in these situations, I haven’t really been able to find what they are called but it doesn’t really matter. I don’t consider myself to be a gold digger or a trophy wife nor do I see him acting or portraying himself as a stud. I just see us and feel that we are two people who love and care about each other. Hopefully others around us will get past the age difference, spend time getting to know us as a couple and see the same.

In this relationship I am Ms. May. At the age of 46, I have chosen to start over in a relationship with a very kind, loving and extremely patient Mr. December, who is 62. I have never struggled with his age at all. Well…actually…that’s a lie because when I realized that I was truly falling in love with this man, my heart started to hurt at the thought that he will potentially leave me first. Time is not our friend in this relationship but…if you think about it, which I did…it might not be a friend in any relationship. So I stopped worrying about it, decided to just accept and cherish the time that we will be given to love each other. I haven’t been concerned about what other people would think about our age difference, it makes no difference to me so why should it to them? It only makes a difference to them because they live in a world where those types of relationships are taboo or socially unacceptable. Really? Times are changing. If we love each other, take care of each other, and do what we need to do to live longer healthier lives Then really there is no difference between having a relationship with a man who is 5 years my senior or 16. There is definitely a maturity level in the age difference that I really like. I feel like there is a balance in my life now that I didn’t find with my ex-husband. I’m not afraid of the challenges we may face because we are going to face them together.

We have been very cautious with our combined children, and how they might react to us being together but so far so good. Both of our marriages ended for different reasons and our kids have all struggled which is the reason we’re taking it slow with them. I’m younger so my kids scratch their heads a little, and don’t fully understand what I’m doing or why but are slowly starting to see that Mr. December is very kind to me. I think that makes it a little easier for them, especially since they know I haven’t been treated kindly by their dad. I’m looking forward to whatever kind of relationship that I will have with Mr. December’s kids and hope that my kids will welcome one with him. His oldest is 28, the other is 25, and with my oldest being 20, I think I’m still old enough that I can offer them what I offer my own kids, if they choose to accept it. I’m also bringing a 12 year old into this relationship so that might be a challenge still up ahead between us that we have to face as well. I’m hoping that we’ll find a balance that works for all of us and that eventually we’ll feel like and be a blended family of 7.

Right now, we also have long distance against us as well and sometimes that’s a struggle. I am always busy. I’m continually multitasking. I will be cooking supper, making cookies, folding laundry and having a conversation with Mr. December all at the same time. I can’t decide if he finds it annoying or rude? Or maybe both? It may be rude, and I’m sorry if it is, but I don’t even notice most of the time the things I’m doing, while I’m talking to him, because I always do them that way. I can only sit and chat for so long and then my OCD kicks in and I need to be moving. Right now, I need to keep moving and carry on with a separate life so I can get through the things I’m dealing with. Staying busy keeps me from overthinking my decisions and helps me move forward. I value our time together and don’t like to cut it short so I carry on the conversation while I’m cooking or cleaning or doing laundry, but he can’t do that; his focus is all on me…except for today, he unloaded the dishwasher while we talked. #progress…lol. While it may seem like my focus isn’t completely on him, I feel like I’m always thinking about him and want to be as close as we can be with all the distance between us. The only good thing about the distance is that, it has really slowed us down and made us really aware of where we are at in ending our previous relationships. He is further ahead in this process than I am and is able to do things that I’m not quite yet ready for or able to do myself but I’m working on getting stronger. We’ve really focused on the “getting to know each other” side through talking/texting while we are apart and when we can we make time for a few days or a weekend together we do. It always starts with a coffee at a McDonalds so we can reconnect, just look at each other, breathe, hold hands and take things slowly.

Mr. December and I consider ourselves partners even though there is distance and a few other obstacles between us. The distance won’t be forever, it will be exciting to finally be free to control the time we get to spend together, we can actually plan to go on real dates and spend time in each other’s spaces. There are still so many things for both of us to overcome, and we know it, but just knowing he has my back and I have his, is making all of the difficult things we are dealing with right now somewhat easier.

I wouldn’t change a thing…❤️

10 out of 10 recommend a May/December relationship ❤️

cookies and a kiss

It’s 8:30pm.

There’s a phone call.

It’s discovered my evening plans had changed.

Cookies are being baked.

Sounds of the Beemer starting…I’ll be there in 40 mins..he says.

Heart rate quickens.

What? Really?

Really…really.

Okay…

Appearance check..not what I’d like to give him but with 40 mins there’s not much I can do.

Timer goes off..first batch of cookies are done.

More cookies get spooned onto the cookie sheet and put into the oven.

Timer set for 11 mins.

Anticipation grows.

Excitement grows.

Love is about to grow.

Clean up baking mess.

Timer goes off.

Last of the cookie dough gets spooned onto the cookie sheet.

Another 11 mins on the timer..

Still 20 mins to wait..

I’ll do some laundry.

Brush my teeth.

See the flour on my black t-shirt and pull it off..he likes me in white so I chose a white t-shirt.

I think about his kiss..while I put some cookies into a container..it’s always deep and passionate.

I think about his hands..and how he rests them on either side of my face as he looks so lovingly at me.

I think about being in his arms, the smell of the soap he uses and the feel the strength of the amazing hugs he gives me. His arms have become my home. That’s where I feel safe.

I think about his Eddie Bauer knitted sweater he wears that I love.

My phone chimes that he is texting me. His ring tone is Circles..because they are infinite..as is my love for him.

Text says..Do you need a ride?

My response..YES!!

More Circles..I’m up top.

Carmex on.

Shoes on.

Sweater on.

Cookie container in hand.

Smile huge.

Heart thumping.

Racing up the stairs two at a time.

He’s standing outside the Beemer waiting for me.

Shorts on.

And as I hoped..soft sweater on and it smells like I remember.

I feel like I could light up the dark..he makes me glow.

Here’s some cookies I say..

I drove 40 mins just to get a kiss.

Well..you can have a couple of those too.

I can’t stop smiling.

I go around to the passenger side and get in.

Let’s play he says..the engine revs and off we go into the beautiful night.

Is it love if someone would drive 40 mins for just a kiss and spend an hour with you?

It sure felt like love.

Whenever I miss him..I close my eyes and this is where I go..